This is a factual story written by mother... may I say she is a talented writer. Everything in this story is true.
Enjoy!
"Ranger’s Kid Chops Down Giant Sequoia!"
UPI, February 15, 2008
Dear Editor:
It has come to the attention of this reader that yet another gross error has been committed against the environment in Gresham, Oregon. During what was meant to be a joyful conversation extending happy birthday wishes to Mr. Timothy Reed, son of alleged Ranger Miriam MacDermot, the truth became known and must be firmly and publicly divulged. Mr. Reed spoke quite candidly about the matter. He related that on Monday, February 11th he had informed his mother that he was going to have a professional tree faller come to cut down a large tree growing next to his driveway. The deed was to be done on Wednesday February 13th. When his mother asked why the beautiful big tree was coming down, he replied that he had no choice…the tree’s roots were growing so rapidly, they were cracking and prying up the pavement in his driveway and were headed towards the foundation of his house. He then asked if his “ranger” mother knew what kind of tree it was. She replied that she had not paid very close attention but wished it didn’t have to be cut. When asked if she and her husband, Jim, sales manager for a rare and exotic wood specialty company in Portland, wanted the wood for firewood, he spoke right up and said, “yes, we’ll take it all!” In response to her son’s question, Ms. MacDermot asked Mr. Reed if the tree had flat needles. “I think so,” he said. “Then, it’s probably a Western Red Cedar,” replied the fake ranger. Knowing how common those trees are to Oregon, Tim walked away, his mind at ease. Many a western red cedar has met its end in the ashes of a woodstove.
Today, when Mr. Reed’s mother wished him a Happy Birthday, Mr. Reed replied he was not into cake this year. Guilt? Maybe… In any case, he told his mother that she could deliver his present and at the same time would load up the fire wood from the tree for Jim in his truck. “Oh, so the tree did come down on Wednesday?” Ms. MacDermot asked. “Yes,” Mr. Reed sheepishly admitted. He mentioned that he was unsure how his mother would react when he told her that she had been wrong as to the tree’s identification. “Mom, uh, it wasn’t a red cedar.” “What happened?” “Well, Mom, after the tree man cut it down, he mentioned, “I don’t get to cut too many of those’. What do you mean? ‘Well, Mr. Reed, that there is a Giant Sequoia’! So, uh, Mom, are you upset with me?”
Mr. Reed related that he was very surprised and greatly relieved that his mother told him she was not upset and laughed uproariously. What a travesty!
So, Mr. Editor, herein lies the proven truth: Ranger MacDermot is definitely a pseudo-ranger. First, she paid no close attention to the wonderful tree in the first place, otherwise she would have known what species it was and warned her son that his house should be expendable rather than the rare tree and insisted he leave it in place. Secondly, she did not hurry over to her son’s residence to determine the true species of the tree upon examination of it before the cutting took place. Thirdly, when the tragedy occurred, instead of mourning the tree’s loss, she laughed at the irony of the story!! Fourthly, she still supported her husband’s plan to burn the poor dead tree’s body! And finally, the crazy dam fake ranger is madly in love with a woodsman who sells rare and exotic wood from all over world for furniture!!!
I rest my case. The idiots who want to fire her for true illness should wake up and smell the coffee and fire her for the fact she isn’t really a ranger and is getting paid for it!!!!!
NO MORE PROOF NEEDED!
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